I came back after a long day at work, or so it seemed at that time, and went directly to my computer to check my email. There were few in my inbox but not the one I was waiting for. Disappointment set in. Whole of the evening was spent in clicking the “ send/ receive” button. Time difference of 10 hours appeared as a logical reason.
The following morning I hurriedly went through my Fajr prayers and checked my mails. No signs of what I was waiting for. I went on with my day. At 4, I was the first to rush out of the office heading home. I repeated the actions from previous day and the result was the same; no mail.

“why am I disappointed!?” I asked myself. “ She is just a girl from online world. She comes to chat to kill the time. Why would she care if someone is waiting?”

“ but why would she write such a nice email if she was just killing time. Why would she play with someone’s emotions when she does not even know him” came the justification from my mind

These arguments went on for few minutes and finally my positive nature gave her the benefit of doubt. I decided to wait.

“ How long are you going to wait!?” my heart did not want to give up.

“ why does it matter?!! I am not running out of time!.” I ignored the opposition within me.

It is really strange that we may not have anyone for 30 years but when someone comes for few hours , says few nice words and we start losing our patience. We do not want that person to go away from us even for a short time. It was hard for me to understand that if I have lived without her being in my life for 29 years then why was I so impatient that I could not wait for few hours or days. Psychology books must have an answer but I did not.

Next day saw the same thing. In the night I started writing and tried to control my frustrations

“ Leila,
I hope things are good at your end. I was wondering where have you disappeared. Drop me a line when you read this.

waiting
Ayaz”

Two more days passed without any response. My life had entered in the ‘do don’t-do’ stage.

“You should write a final mail and get it over with” I got scared by the suggestion of my heart.

“ Wait, if you lose , you will lose anyway, why hurry? Don’t let your frustrations be a part of the reason” mind was calm like a sincere and mature friend.

I surrendered to its logics.

– fromLeila – a love untold Copyrights Reserved

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